Conversations!

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:6 Thinking about the importance of good conversation today... Do you pursue good communication or avoid it out of concern of criticism? Even if you've had challenges with communication before (especially with your spouse) it's important not to give up and start avoiding it. 

If the other person says something hurtful, kindly let them know "I want to be a good communicator with you, but could you word things a little more gentle with me so I don't feel a need to run from this conversation right now? I'm really trying."

Often women love to communicate, but men become type A personalities when it comes to this area. Many male's mindsets are, "Don't tell me the delivery story, just show me the baby." In other words, they want the fruit without any labor. They want the fruit that results when their wife to feels close to them, but are not always willing to give her the time she needs to just talk about things that are important to her in order for her to have a genuine heart connection in the marriage. If she does talk, sometimes she gets shut down quickly, letting her know her communication isn't welcome or wanted. Then after a while when other physical and respect areas shut down, the husband wonders why.

Leadership author John Maxwell says that he started out as a very poor listener, including in his marriage. Over the years, he realized he was shutting his wife down when she wanted to communicate and not really hearing her heart. He said he made a conscious choice to start giving her time to talk and make a genuine connection with her. He would really listen, rather than thinking about how to get on with it and get to the next thing. When he did, he said their marriage improved so drastically that he decided to carry this practice into his leadership at the work place. It totally transformed his leadership and took him to a much higher level.

We pray for your heart to become as determined as John Maxwell's to take time to listen to those close to you. Especially your wife for those guys who are married out there, and especially you parents, who have talkative kids at bedtime and you want them to be quiet and get in bed. Kids open up at bedtime. If you get them to bed earlier you can have an extra 15 minutes to let them talk. If you take time to listen to them when they are young, they will still want to talk to you when they are teens!

May God bless you with the desire for great communication! 
S & A

How to LOVE!!!

How can we effectively respect our husband or love our wife like Ephesians 5:33 talks about? In the Greek, respect means "to be in AWE of" or "to reverence." Ladies, you can do this through honoring your husband with your words and actions, building him up with admiring comments, deeply valuing what he has to say, and always choosing a great attitude toward him.

Likewise, the husband is to "nourish" and "cherish" his wife. In the Greek, this entails kindly supporting her growth to maturity, as well as warmly caring for and attending to her. In other words, he is to sacrifice his own interests when necessary and selflessly lay down his life for her. When both marriage partners contribute to creating a mutually loving and respect-filled environment, it's amazing what God can do in and through them to bless this earth and display His love!

Ladies, choose to be that respectful wife who is in AWE of your husband today; don't wait for him to show you love first. Men, choose to be the loving husband who is cherishing his wife daily, rather than waiting for her to show respect first. When we both make an effort to improve ourselves, we win as a team.

Believing God's best for your marriage and future!

P. Shaun & Amy

Need More Peace?

Needing more peace in your life right now? If so, just think about the fact that peace is part of God's grace (His unmerited favor) available for you! According to 2 Peter 3:18, we can increase or grow in grace. How can you get more grace, so that you have more peace?

If you have a minute right now, follow me on a little study of grace...

James 4:6-7 "But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."

In prayer the other day, The Lord gave me these words: "Grace doesn't take the place of salvation or sanctification. Grace is a tool God uses to lead people to salvation and sanctification."

In other words, if a believer doesn't pursue sanctification (obedience to God's Word and separation from the sins of the world) they will never walk into all the promises and goodness God has planned for them by grace alone. There is a Blessing given for willingness and obedience to God's Word and His ways. His ways aren't always easy to follow - but always worth it in the long run!

Notice James 4:6 is preceded by verses talking about the temptations to act like friends with the world instead of friends of God and to lust after things thinking only about ourselves. There is no peace in this kind of life, seeking self- gratification above God's commands and others needs. Even though we are still saved, God can be resisting us if we reject His commands. (James wrote these things to believers). When a person gets into self-gratification, they lose their peace because they are actually rejecting His available grace to overcome sin. They become impatient and quick to raise their voice and yell at others, thinking their problems are all someone else's fault.

If you are lacking peace, be quick to humble yourself before God, and resist the ways and works of the devil in your life and your family's life. His grace is available for you to overcome any temptation! We have His promise that when we humble ourselves and accept His grace, He will lift us up out of any pit we are in.