Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:6 Thinking about the importance of good conversation today... Do you pursue good communication or avoid it out of concern of criticism? Even if you've had challenges with communication before (especially with your spouse) it's important not to give up and start avoiding it.
If the other person says something hurtful, kindly let them know "I want to be a good communicator with you, but could you word things a little more gentle with me so I don't feel a need to run from this conversation right now? I'm really trying."
Often women love to communicate, but men become type A personalities when it comes to this area. Many male's mindsets are, "Don't tell me the delivery story, just show me the baby." In other words, they want the fruit without any labor. They want the fruit that results when their wife to feels close to them, but are not always willing to give her the time she needs to just talk about things that are important to her in order for her to have a genuine heart connection in the marriage. If she does talk, sometimes she gets shut down quickly, letting her know her communication isn't welcome or wanted. Then after a while when other physical and respect areas shut down, the husband wonders why.
Leadership author John Maxwell says that he started out as a very poor listener, including in his marriage. Over the years, he realized he was shutting his wife down when she wanted to communicate and not really hearing her heart. He said he made a conscious choice to start giving her time to talk and make a genuine connection with her. He would really listen, rather than thinking about how to get on with it and get to the next thing. When he did, he said their marriage improved so drastically that he decided to carry this practice into his leadership at the work place. It totally transformed his leadership and took him to a much higher level.
We pray for your heart to become as determined as John Maxwell's to take time to listen to those close to you. Especially your wife for those guys who are married out there, and especially you parents, who have talkative kids at bedtime and you want them to be quiet and get in bed. Kids open up at bedtime. If you get them to bed earlier you can have an extra 15 minutes to let them talk. If you take time to listen to them when they are young, they will still want to talk to you when they are teens!
May God bless you with the desire for great communication!
S & A
